Sometimes, life hurts

this seems like a "duh" statement. this is something that we all (probably) take as a given. Sometimes, life hurts. While speaking to a very close friend of mine yesterday he informed me of this. once again a "duh" statement, and I recognized this but something about that statement struck me in a profound way.

I have in recent times, found myself to be in a hurtful and extremely complicated situation. I have made the decision to move on but the guilt I feel is quite crippling. I know I've made mistakes and that a large part of this IS in fact my fault. Maybe it's my fault even more so for giving up. I recognize this and accept my responsibility in this situation's demise, however I have learned something quite important. Relationships, sex, marriage and love are NOT as black and white as society would have us believe, and a person's past doesn't always define their future. I used to think love and sex and etc... was black and white, I used to strongly believe the phrase "once a cheater always a cheater" but the truth of the matter is that every situation is different and every person is different. These things are NOT black and white, but have an entire gray side to them. Only by opening our minds and placing our reservations and judgements aside can we really understand that.

Yes, it is very easy to judge and place blame but the fact remains that when a relationship of any kind goes bad it is very very rarely ever entirely one person's fault. only when both parties accept their part in the demise can true healing and understanding begin. If that happens then the parties involved are fortunate to have grown as individuals. They are fortunate enough to realize that just because something ended badly doesn't mean that it was necessarily a mistake to begin with, or that it (relationship) or they failed. Sometimes what we learn and how we grow as people is the best side effect to come out of a relationship or decision.

I sound very preachy right now and I realize that. I have had some very different and interesting life experiences in the past few years. I have some very important people come into my life (along with my experiences) that have taught me the things I mentioned above. I have grown remarkably and become a much more mature and grounded person (I realize it doesn't seem that way but you will have to take my word on it!). I could go into more detail but I fear that would go on too long. I am, however, very willing to discuss this topic further in person. I just want to leave you with these words:

"Sometimes, life hurts. But it isn't a problem, it's a learning opportunity". (collaborative quote from Pearson and Lyons)